I Never Liked the Rain Until…

Yes. I’m pretty sure I just quoted a country song from the 90’s. This is a first and most likely a last.

This morning was a bit lazy, but earlier than they have been. It was still cool and dark in my bedroom, I was cozy and warm with a book and it took a bit to rub the sleep out of my eyes. It could have also been the makeup I forgot to remove before bed last night, but I digress.  It was a perfectly lovely morning. The ones where you take big, long, gasping stretches to wake your body up. The ones where you’re content to sit with a cup of coffee, no music, no tv, just you and the cup held between your warming palms.

It was peaceful and striking. I couldn’t shake that there were words here, a beauty I wanted to capture without my always present phone camera. I couldn’t shake it. It almost made me sad that the sun would soon start to filter into my apartment and the noise of children arriving rather loudly at the schools would soon make the air busy. Breaking the calm, patient silence of my morning.  It was in that moment that I realized, I knew this moment.  I’d had moments like this before. In Vancouver.

In Vancouver, everyone is always complaining about the weather. I think it’s a ‘thing’ in the Pacific Northwest in general because we live with dreary, drizzly rain and sombre gray skies for oh, 8 months out of the year. It’s a constant, a common thread and something that is just persistent in our lives. It changes how we dress, where we go, how we walk, what we carry and where we park. I found winters in Vancouver to be rough at first and then somewhat resigned myself. It was worth it for the amazingly gorgeous summers, the sprawling ocean and the majestic mountains that meet the shore.

 

The rain was something we just had to get through. When local weather people would say how the rain made our skin beautiful and kept us young, I rolled my eyes in an irritated, annoyed fashion. Yeah. Sure. And schlopping around in galoshes was good for my thighs? We just had to get used to being damp, musty and muddle through until the spring when we would all forget what we just endured, exclaiming, “It’s this the most beautiful place on earth?”

I never appreciated it. Until this morning.

There is peace in the grayness. There is a slowness, a stillness that comes when there is no sun to wake you up. There’s an acceptance of a lingering way of life, a lengthened moment over coffee, a lack of pressure to get up and out. When the sun isn’t beating in your windows, it’s almost like nature giving you permission to cozy up on the couch with a blanket and a book. It’s nature giving you instruction to throw on a pot of soup and stop worrying for the day. Whatever it is?

It can wait.

I felt such a deep longing for Vancouver this morning. Such an appreciation for the rain and the comforting cocoon it created for me. I have missed so much about Vancouver while learning to appreciate so much about New York. Restaurants. Views. People. Things. It just never felt like it did this morning. A feeling like I couldn’t wait to feel the rain again. To hunker down when nature told me to. A deep, deep appreciation for the clouds and dreary skies.

For now, I have sun though and I can appreciate that too.

 

Peaceful and Happy

I’ll be honest with you folks. It’s been a rough week.

I’ve taken a tumble downward and have had a few dicey moments. I’m hanging in there and taking it day by day but this prompt couldn’t have come at a better time. I really have needed to take a few minutes and look back over the positives this week. Those moments of peace and happiness. The things that I wasn’t spinning over, that actually calmed me and made me smile. So, thanks Ginger.

Packages. I got packages this week. With my birthday coming up I was expecting a couple but it was a good week to get them. I got one from my Nana that had Pepper Jack Cheez-Its in it as well as a bright, fun purse, flavoured K-cups and a little fun money.  We spoke a couple weeks ago and I mentioned that we couldn’t get other flavours of Cheez-Its here. She’s so cute. Mom sent me a bunch of ‘little nothings’ in a CDP style package. I couldn’t resist with such crappy times and I opened all the brightly coloured tissue paper wrapped packages. My Mom would be a great CDP sender as I got lots of little kitchen gadgets and she sprinkled candy across the top! I hadn’t had a tootsie pop for YEARS. It was a really happy moment that I believe I cried through. Shocking, Sarah. Shocking.

The best package I received this week though, was my CDP from April. I’ve been anxiously awaiting its arrival and was SO happy to have it in my hot little hands. Of course, I now feel anxiety because I’ve opened a few already in the last two days. Ridiculous. It’s just so thoughtful to hold a package like that in your hands you know? Something that a friend thoughtfully put together for you, thinking of you on the days where you need to be thought of. It made my day yesterday and I am ever so grateful.

I had a few hours to myself on Monday, Canada Day, and I spent it at the pool. It was so nice to lie in the sun, read and just breathe. I listened to kids running around and enjoying the beautiful weather. I watched seaplanes land on the ocean. It was so peaceful and lovely. I got to have a nice light dinner afterwards, a delicious drink and to top it off with Canada Day fireworks. For a day that started off iffy, it had some beautiful happy moments for me.

One of the most peaceful things for me this past week was honestly getting to take many  naps. I rarely indulge and allow myself to nap but with my emotions being out of whack and the temperature being STUPID HOT and humid, I just gave in and napped. Recharged. Sometimes several times a day. It always felt good to curl up in bed for those naps and I felt better for taking them. Indulgent maybe but I think I really needed them and listening to my body was a smart thing to do. I should remember that.

The other thing I really want to remember and note in the happiness category is my twitter family. My goodness. You guys really reinforce the idea that the internet truly can be a beautiful place with honestly GOOD people in it. Sure there are assholes out there, but the people I’m around? So much love and understanding for the world. Old friends. New friends. Doesn’t matter, your’e loved. I feel so guilty for whining, moping and just being low. I think things like “I’m not as bad as other people” or “There are people truly starving in Africa” to try and diminish my own feelings, to not trouble other people but boy, you all just hold your friends close. You hold them up when they can’t hold themselves up. You hug them and help make them feel like they are not alone in this world. I cannot thank you all enough for the support and love you continue to show, not just to me but to everyone around you. You’re making the world a better place, one note of support at a time. You’re gorgeous people and I feel so honoured to be among you.

I have had a few happy moments and beautifully peaceful moments this week and while not as many as I’d like to have had, there were sunny spots to remember.  I think tomorrow I’ll create my own peaceful moment with a quiet morning prayer to Kuan Yin in front of my gorgeous porcelain statue.

Yes, I think I’ll do that.

(This post inspired by Bring Back The Words Week 3 link up over on Ramble Ramble! Why not check out the other people participating or join in yourself? Everyone could use some inspiration and community!)