I have a lot to be grateful for today, and much more to come.
Also, this food was delicious.
That is all.
It was rainy and dreary on Tuesday. My Mom and Stepdad had just left, I was starting to get sick and I had to work in the afternoon at my new job. My new job where I am still fighting the voices in my head that keep telling me they will find out I am awful and will fire me. The voices that are telling me the other shoe will drop ANY MOMENT. It was not shaping up to be the greatest of days for me.
Lucky for me, I knew I had a package from Ashley at the post office, so I was off to pick up the glorious, well-timed box. I was ready to kick ass and take names too, since no one had even attempted to deliver it. I was riled RIGHT up and was in NO MOOD to deal with any bullshit.
Then, while I was waiting in line, I got a text from my Dad.
He had a CT scan last week to check on the size of his lymphnodes (Since he has lymphoma, that’s where the cancer is. There and in his bone marrow) and was at the cancer clinic to find out the results and to get his fourth (out of six) round of chemotherapy. Well, excuse the capslock but – EVERY SINGLE NODE WAS LESS THAN 1CM IN SIZE! This, in comparison to August when a couple were EIGHTEEN CENTIMETERS. Less than 1cm people! That’s like | | this far or something. Oh my good god, would you have been able to hold back tears on that one?
That’s not all. Once I finished sobbing at the post office, I got a text from my Dad’s girlfriend who said that his chemo drugs were now GETTING PAID FOR. So, my Dad, who has no health insurance but will be on the hook for hundreds of thousands of dollars – just got his chemotherapy drugs paid for by the drug companies. As someone who thinks drug companies are evil bastards, I have never, EVER IN MY LIFE been so grateful to them. Dad will still have to pay for the scans, doctor visits and so forth, but the drugs are most expensive!
So let’s recap this. Halfway through his treatment program, his lymphnodes have drastically reduced in size, meaning the drugs are working as they should. So, so well. Ontop of this, he is getting financial help from the drug companies (who get a tax break for doing so) and his financial burden will be lessened. Well then.
I know that many of you will cheer and celebrate this massive victory (so far) with me and I honestly am so grateful for you all as well. You have made the last few months not only bearable, but full of love and support and comfort.
Thank you friends.
I just…you guys. I can’t express to you, just how grateful I feel on the eve of Thanksgiving. Yes, I am sick and grumpy but damn. I have a job that is already helping with my mood and self esteem and is making me feel like a worthwhile human being that is strong, capable and able to do anything if she just takes that first step. And the best part – My Dad is doing so dang well and I just love him so much. He is kicking cancer’s ass and is keeping such an awesome attitude while doing it.
I hope that I am as strong as he is some day. I really do.
Here are a few snippets from a short visit from my Mom and Stepdad. (S is me, M is my loving Mother. I love her, but you know…sometimes… )
S: I am so anxious and stressed about this new job.
M: Well you shouldn’t be stressed! I would think you would just be so happy and grateful to have a job!
S: Mom, I am very excited about this job, but it has no bearing on whether I am tired or stressed or anything. I really need you to stop saying that please.
M: Oh let’s go look over there at pillows!
While walking Canal Street, trying to avoid street vendors.
M (from behind me): Fuck you, you fucking fuck!
S (WHIPPING my head around to look at her)
M: Well wasn’t THAT a classy t-shirt. What!? I didn’t SAY it, I was just READING IT. Doesn’t count.
(For the record, I have NEVER heard her say fuck. EVER.)
M: Oh look! It’s Hello Titty!
M: Another t-shirt Sarah.
M: Phew! I guess we won’t really need dinner after that big lunch! (We had sandwiches at a pub, at 1:30. She was serious.)
S (trying on dress pants): They are kind of baggy in the leg.
M: Well, Sarah, not EVERYTHING you wear has to be sucked on.
S: Over there are a bunch of characters, Hello Kitty, Elmo etc.
M: It isn’t Hello Titty?
My Sunday/Monday in a nutshell.
I am the worst when it comes to sickness. I admit it.
I apologize in advance – but I have succumbed to the sickness! Just in time for more company and Thanksgiving!
I just woke up from the couch & am headed to bed. Sorry friends.
Worst NaBloPoMo post ever!