Conversational Quotes – Mom Edition

Here are a few snippets from a short visit from my Mom and Stepdad. (S is me, M is my loving Mother. I love her, but you know…sometimes… )

*

S: I am so anxious and stressed about this new job.

M: Well you shouldn’t be stressed! I would think you would just be so happy and grateful to have a job!

S: Mom, I am very excited about this job, but it has no bearing on whether I am tired or stressed or anything. I really need you to stop saying that please.

M: Oh let’s go look over there at pillows!

*

While walking Canal Street, trying to avoid street vendors.

M (from behind me): Fuck you, you fucking fuck!

S (WHIPPING my head around to look at her)

M: Well wasn’t THAT a classy t-shirt. What!? I didn’t SAY it, I was just READING IT. Doesn’t count.

(For the record,  I have NEVER heard her say fuck. EVER.)

*

M: Oh look! It’s Hello Titty!
S: WHAT?
M: Another t-shirt Sarah.

*

M: Phew! I guess we won’t really need dinner after that big lunch! (We had sandwiches at a pub, at 1:30. She was serious.)

*

S (trying on dress pants): They are kind of baggy in the leg.

M: Well, Sarah, not EVERYTHING you wear has to be sucked on.

*

S: Over there are a bunch of characters, Hello Kitty, Elmo etc.

M: It isn’t Hello Titty?

*

My Sunday/Monday in a nutshell.

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